Zitat

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Responding to his administration’s ongoing struggles with the launch of Obamacare, President Barack Obama announced a proposal today that would enable insurance companies to grant one-year extensions to the health plans of Americans who would otherwise face cancellation. Here are some of Obama’s other plans to fix the troubled rollout of his signature health care law:

Replacing glitchy healthcare.gov website with a convenient in-person enrollment kiosk located in Washington, D.C.
Enrollees allowed to keep preexisting medical conditions
Customers will no longer be automatically opted in to the weekly newsletter “Talkin’ Premiums” when they purchase insurance on the exchange
Allowing enrollees choice of whether to stay with their current doctor or go with well-regarded Minneapolis-area general practitioner Dr. Joel Glochowsky
Losing the semicolon in Chapter V, section 5, clause B
As a preventive measure, each American receives free raw steak to reduce swelling on shiners
Meeting insurance companies halfway by letting them cancel health care plans for only the sickest patients
Obama agrees to preface all future health care updates with statement, “This thing is a hell of a mess”
Eliminates requirement for every enrollee to contract terminal disease
Offering easy-to-follow instructions on how to snap your own neck in the event that you are diagnosed with cancer and lost your insurance
Changing website background to blue

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http://www.theonion.com/articles/how-the...fault:1:Default



The bolded one had me LOL.