This is an interesting, and an unusual point of view. Pretty perceptive of her.

Zitat

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My whole life I've been an over-giver. My general operating policy has always been: 'If it belongs to me, don't worry: You can have it!'

As you can imagine, Christmas is a particularly difficult time of year for me. The temptation to over-give when it comes to presents is overwhelming.

Over the years, I have over-given with my money, possessions, opinions, time, body, emotions - you name it, I have given it forth.

You don't have to be rich to be an over-giver, and over- giving is not quite the same thing as generosity. ...


A neighbour dubbed my munificence 'hip-hop charity' - because it reminded him of the way rap stars get rich and then buy Mercedes-Benz cars for everyone back in the 'hood - but sharing money with my intimates felt so much more satisfying than sending cheques to some distant organisation: I could see (and feel!) the gratitude so personally; it was a drug-like pleasure.

Also, my giving bonanza went a long way toward levelling off the apparent karmic imbalance of my own crazy success - an imbalance that had left me feeling profoundly uncomfortable.

Sweet charity

56 per cent of adults donate to charity. Women aged 45-64 are most likely to give

(Why had I struck it rich while peers of equal or greater talent struggled? Why not spread the good fortune around willy-nilly?)

Finally, it was joyful and empowering: I was a dream facilitator, an obstacle-banisher, a life-transformer. In short: Giving away money to my friends was so much fun!

Until suddenly it wasn't. Until suddenly I didn't have some of those friends any more.

I didn't lose those friends for the reasons you think, either.

It isn't because 'money is the root of all evil' or because 'money changes everything'.

Of course, money changes everything, but so does sunlight and so does food: These are powerful, but neutral energy sources, neither inherently good nor evil, but shaped only by the way we use them....


Even worse, sometimes my over-giving left friends feeling shamed and laid bare.

Sometimes, for instance, 'lack of money' hadn't been a friend's problem in the first place. Maybe her problem had been lack of confidence or organisation or motivation. Maybe by erasing her money problems, all I'd done was suddenly expose her other, real problems.

Maybe such rapid exposure is a dreadful thing to do to someone (as a great British wit once quipped: 'You can always tell people who live for others, by the anguished expressions on the faces of the others')....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...-Pray-Love.html

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